Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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