I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
