I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
