We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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