By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Vodka?
Forever.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
