operation harelip BJ is a go
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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