Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
