Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Damn victory sex feels great
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
