Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
