She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
