I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
