If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Sorry my hands just texted you
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
