She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
