you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
