eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
