Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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