I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im holly from the hills drunk
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
that is very illegal...i love you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
