Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So vagazzling was a success
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
