You really coming over, don't trick.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
