oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
