What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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