So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
