just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think i peed on brittanys purse
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
