He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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