Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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