I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
