I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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