It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Hippo gnu deer
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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