let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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