saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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