I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
