It's like a parade of train wrecks.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
