oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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