Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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