I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
