atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
