I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
