sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
