YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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