Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
