my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I died a long time ago.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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