And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
