I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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