If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
