I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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