Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
