I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
