i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
