Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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