Princesses don't give blow jobs
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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