I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
