just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can I color on your dick again?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
