They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
