Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
